the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
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When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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