Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
