I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I didn't notice because vodka
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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