He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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