I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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