Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
