Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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