He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
