they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
