They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
