my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
