You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
