Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
