The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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