i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
