Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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