There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
