it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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