Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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