I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
