if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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