I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
