I wish I only lived at night.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
