Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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