Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
