A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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