if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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