Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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