There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
