so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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