ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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