Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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