Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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