Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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