Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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