Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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