Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
