I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
how drunk are you?
Several
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
