i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
