another moral hangover. fuck.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
