girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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