the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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