Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
