i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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