Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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