I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My vagina just recognized that song.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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