I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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