Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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