At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
