he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
