I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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