maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
