I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
