Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
