sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
