11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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