Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
