went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
