The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
