i was born a porn star she said
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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