You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Drunk is not a location!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize