I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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