i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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