I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
