I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The adults are the big ones right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
