Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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